I am an escapist. What does that even mean??
A quick look in the dictionary will tell you that an escapist is one who indulges in escapism – the avoidance of reality by absorption of the mind in entertainment or in imaginative situation, activity, etc. I think I've known for years that I was an escapist because almost all my life I have escaped reality in all sorts of ways and for all sorts of reasons. From the age of 13, I indulged in the fictional, in all sorts of magical and amazing imaginary worlds in the form of TV online. When I was 13 to when I was 15, I spent almost every waking hour watching TV program after TV program. My entire summers were spent in front of my computer screen (not watching porn) but watching TV. It’s amazing that I did well in school despite spending all my days craving escape from my sometimes boring & sometimes painful life. Why Did I do it? On the TV screen, I could vicariously live through the protagonists I adored. I could be popular, have an exciting life with superpowers even. I could be or have anything by watching these shows! Because let's face it, TV shows us what we wish we had and who we wish we were. What I saw on TV made my life as an only child with few friends and a single mom seem less miserable & boring so I spent even more time escaping. When I was 15ish, my escapism reached a peak when I discovered that I had a passion for creative writing. Creative Writing! It was better, richer, and more complex than anything I could have ever viewed on a TV screen. With the pen in my hand, and the characters in my control, at command, I could create elaborate worlds known only to me, specific to my desires, my wants & fantasies, making it the maximum source of entertainment and pleasure because it was made personal by me and for me. I stopped writing shortly before entering college and I now I believe this was the Lord pulling me out of my head before I lost myself to the imaginary. Why am I telling you this?
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